Bringing Home Baby…the Sequel.

Three months ago, we welcomed little lady Lily to the family! With two little ones, life can be hectic. I was mentally prepared to be exhausted and feel torn with two little humans vying for attention, but nothing could have prepared me for the heartbreak and sadness I felt at some moments.

Photo by Shannon Nicole Photography
We took time while I was pregnant to prepare A to become a big brother. We read books about being a big brother, he helped me set up parts of Lily’s nursery, and spent many bedtimes talking about what he wanted to do with baby “Monkeyhead” (as he affectionately named her in the womb) when she was out of my belly.
When Andrew came to the hospital, he was surprised with a present from baby Lily, and he was thrilled to finally meet the baby that was growing in mommy’s belly. From the start, he was a proud big brother, telling everyone we saw that this was ‘his baby.’ I felt like such a proud mom, what a smooth transition to two kids this was! We were doing awesome! A wasn’t acting out at all!
And then…..the honeymoon ended. A started to realize he didn’t have my full attention and could not have me at times when he usually did. I still remember in the first few weeks the first moment that brought me to tears. Bedtime was usually me and A reading, snuggling, and talking in bed before he went to sleep. This particular night, newborn Lily needed to feed right at bedtime, so hubs stepped in to put Andrew to bed. I promised A I would come see him as soon as I finished feeding Lily (which as we all know, can be a pretty long time with newborns). I was sitting there, rocking Lily and enjoying that quiet and bliss that comes with a sleepy newborn, when in comes my three-year old with tears running down his face.
“Mommy, you say you come see me. You forgot about me Mommy.”
My heart broke. In that moment, it was the first time that both of us realized that I couldn’t always be there when he needed me.
I scooped him up with my other arm and assured him that I could never forget about him, that I was still taking care of Lily and was coming to see him soon.
That is the absolute worst mommy guilt I have felt in my three years as a mom…and I’m sure that is just mild training compared to what is to come in the future. But right at that moment, I felt guilt that I couldn’t be there when he needed a hug, that I had turned his world upside down by bringing another baby home, and guilt that I couldn’t focus all my energy on Lily like I had when I brought A home. I think guilt is one of those things that is just part of being a mom.
Three months in and we’re all getting used to things being done a little different, but A loves his little sister, and I’m sure he will enjoy having her around as she gets to be a little more exciting to him!
Photo by Shannon Nicole Photography
How do other moms balance having more than one little kid at home? Especially moms with more than two! How do you keep that balance between each child?

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