10 Things I’ve Learned Having a Son

I am a true girly girl. I love pink, sparkles, bows. I grew up surrounded by princess dresses, Barbies, makeup and ruffles. I only had a sister growing up and wasn’t really close to any boys my age (until the teenage years, but that’s a topic for another day!). I was fully expecting to have a little girl when I got pregnant because that’s what I know. So it really threw me for a loop when I was pregnant with Andrew.

We went for a 3D ultrasound and the ultrasound technician joyfully announced, “Congratulations, you’re having a baby boy!” We were thrilled, and my husband and I immediately went shopping and came home with bags full of adorable blue and green clothes. Then I sat down and it hit me – I knew absolutely nothing about raising a little boy.

Thankfully, it has been easier than I thought, and he is a pretty straightforward little guy. But, one recent incident really drove home the point that little boys really are a completely different entity. I was nursing baby Lily the other day, and Andrew nonchalantly wandered into her room. He had his hand between his legs…and then I realized that he was scratching his balls. WITH MY TOOTHBRUSH. At that moment, as I screeched in horror, I hoped with every ounce in my body that this was the first time he had done it. It was at that moment, my friends, that I realized that little boys are a breed of their own. These are a few of the things I have learned about raising a son in the three years I have been blessed with him.

Photo by Shannon Nicole Photography

1) With having a boy comes a big responsibility. I remember someone saying to me when I had Andrew to raise him well, because I was raising someone’s husband. C’mon, that is a LOT of responsibility! I have this vision in my head of who I want him to be, and now I have to figure out how to execute it (any advice mommas?).

2) Dirt is not a bad thing for little boys. They aren’t bothered about it like moms are. They embrace it. Seriously. I will see a big pile of dirt in Andrew’s path and start twitching at the thought of what’s about to happen. Ditto for puddles.

3) The answer to “More bacon?” is always yes. Always.

4) My bathrooms. My poor bathrooms will never be the same once they come in contact with a potty-trained three year old. For the love of all things holy, just keep the pee in the toilet.

5) Boy’s toys make me feel stupid. Seriously – sometimes Andrew gets toys and I can’t even figure out how to use them. This just reaffirms my belief that males and females are just hardwired differently.

6) THE PENIS. Oh my word, the penis. The penis is like the holy grail of body parts – to be fair, I should have known this simply from having a husband. But seriously, what is with the penis obsession? Why all the constant touching? Why does it often get left to peek out over the top of pants? I think this is something I’ll never fully understand. The upside of the penis – when your little guy needs to use the washroom when you’re out and about, you don’t necessarily need an actual bathroom (I’m assuming I don’t need to elaborate on this). This is something that I truly appreciate.

7) Don’t ever, EVER, take something from a little boy without looking. I learned this the hard way. I ended up with everything from boogers, to worms, to poop in my hands before I learned to do a quick check before opening my hand.

8) On the topic of boogers – clean that nose out fast because they wipe their snot everywhere. I’ve caught him wiping it on the furniture, my car (inside and outside), and even his baby sister.

9) You will wish that diapers came with a lock. Nothing can incite fear in me faster than being stuck nursing the baby in another room and hearing that telltale “rrrrrrrip” as he whips his diaper off. There is no telling what catastrophe I will be walking into.

10) As gross as they can be, there truly is nothing like a little boy’s love. They love fiercely. There is nothing gentle about a little boy’s hug. It may knock you over or bruise you in the process, but it is full of enthusiastic and innocent love. And you will love every minute of it.

Photo by Carly Bee Photography

Life with a little boy can be gross, confusing, and eye-opening. But it’s also filled with so much love, learning, and laughs. And I wouldn’t change it for a thing.

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